this post will be a short break from my unfinished serial post about events in life. (Temporarily) make way for EXAM!
Every semester, exam draws a lot of anxiety with each passing day and pages I flip as I realise that time is running out but the realization that i dont really know the subjects well becomes apparent @_@ I have been sitting for exams every year since my 1st year in primary school and by now, I can pretty much say that I have gone through at least 16 years of exams (gosh I sound old) and will probably have more coming my way. But I will never get tired of getting nervous for exams, tests, quizzes and the like. No, actually, I'm kinda tired of being so highly strung but well, I don't really know how to relax either -_____-
The exam for last semester see less subjects to take, higher on the unpredictability, lower on the esteem, and a whole lot of changes ensued. For the 1st time after years of studying alone since my STPM days, I joined a study group. the CUS study group. Ok that wasn't a real study group because we were all revising on different subjects but just seated at the same table -____- It's a fresh change of environment I would say. I can't concentrate much when I am with them (like duh, CUS-ers + together = berteori + infinity) and we studied together till the wee hours in the morning (think 3am. most did it till 6am but I have no willpower to stay awake) at the lecture hall foyer. Well, it did ease some tension in me and I get to pick on the other CUS-ers snacks lying carelessly around the table :P
Then there was Christmas, funeral, new year celebration, my sis' wedding. Too many distracting events. And it was also during these that I had to really question on how I have arranged my priorities. Thank goodness I made it to the funeral and wedding because deep down in my heart, family will always comes second. First place always goes to God :D And I am really grateful for those who supported me through the rougher event and celebrated with me through the happy events, and even more; to those who tried to drag me through the happy events but at the same time allow me time to revise and panic all I want (very crucial. In which the lack of the freedom to panic would lead to me trying to steal everyone's left shoe, curse people with camel fleas, or both) . I seriously cant stop thinking about my exam 24/7. Heck, right after I finish my exams, I would still wake up suddenly in the morning trying to study to only realise that I just sat for my last paper some days ago -____- Not fun at all. Trust me.
Not forgetting to mention, the most important event that I had to pretend as if it wasn't there because it can take some time to slap myself with more revisions when I am in the mood to celebrate; was my own birthday. Even more so when that day itself, I have the final chemistry paper to sit for. So double distraction; birthday + excitement of finishing off the tougher paper (my last paper was the much easier psychology) = God-help-me-to-concentrate-T.T Seriously, I had a really really tough time trying to keep my eyes glued to my book. Even tougher to keep my mind from straying. By hook or by crook, I managed to sit for the paper and tried to answer it with every ounce of sanity left in me (not much left. Considering the amount of internal conflicts *get excited for no reason*slap*study*repeat process 4687344775 times* going on) and score well for it. On second thought, I should have clearly and boldly state at the last page of my answer sheet that it's my birthday today and I would be happy to get an A for it :D Ok, I may be insane at times but my professionalism just wouldn't allow me to do that * Dramatically flips hair, straightens posture, lets out a vain
hohoho laugh* :P
So all together, this time, I get distracted a lot, had too many events going my way, have too little time to really sit down and study. But in all, like my sister said; just try your best and leave the rest to God. If God arranges for such events to cross your study week and exam week, He will prepare you for it and so don't worry too much. Hate to admit it, but she is right. I have realised that for the many times that I had sudden and distracting events in my life during exams, I will still be able to study for it and do well. God has blessed me with the grace to separate my personal life and 'business' well ;) but just one thing...
She was the one who chose to have her wedding 2 days before my exam. Dont blame it on God, woman =.=
hahaha~~ just kidding :P It was just the right time actually. I needed those distraction -_____-
but funny thing is, I have this self assurance in me that everything will be alright. Despite all the high waves coming my way, I sat for the papers rather calmly and exited the hall knowing I did my best and felt as if it wasn't that bad actually. So I would like to highlight here once again the 'Divine Mercy Prayer' that I had faithfully kept at 3pm everyday through the study week and exam week which you can read about more at here;
http://camel89.xanga.com/751623130/a-miraculous-prayer-the-divine-mercy/and for this semester, I am just overjoyed to have good results so much so that my CGPA was pushed up to first class honours ;) HALLELUJAH!
Give thanks to the Lord for he is good; His love endures foreverPsalm 107: 1
and even more importantly, praise the Lord when you get your results. It may be within your expectations, it may be better or it can be worse. But keep in mind that God works in a way no one can ever explain. It will all make sense one day what you are going through now so just trust in Him.
So study, relax, pray, eat right and God willing, it is reachable and in your hands ;)
For this reason I tell you; When you pray and ask for something, believe that you have received it, and you will be given whatever you ask for.Mark 11: 24
Amen to that! :D
till den ;)
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